🥂2019🥂 💋

Being a kind and considerate person and knowing there would be lots of kissing on new years eve I decided to shave off the moustache……. 

………. unfortunately she woke up when I sprayed the shaving foam on her face.

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Christmas 🎄 decorations

I’ve taken down all the decorations, thrown the tree in the garden, finished all the Christmas food and drunk all the booze……

……I better leave this house quickly before the owners get home. 

Leaving 😞

After careful consideration, I am officially leaving WordPress. I spend way too much time on here. Take care everyone……

……I’ll be back in 10 minutes.

Ebook Launch 🚀

Proud to say I have published my first book. Available now on Amazon. I couldn’t have done it without all of your support. Here’s to many more! 🍻

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07L19RST2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_flEaCbJAPVEFP

Shopping 🛒

 When you’ve seen one shopping center……..

………..you’ve seen a mall.

Carpenter wanted

Any carpenters looking for work? Cabinet falling apart. Might be a few screws loose……..

……..Address: 10 Downing Street.

Lottery Win!!

I can’t believe I have a winning lottery ticket. Please respect our families privacy at this time as we decide how to move forward in this exciting moment of time……

……I will be collecting the £3.60 shortly. 

Bus 🚌

Two old ladies talking at the Cafe..”Did you come on the bus Lucinda?”………

…….”Yes I did, Ethel, but I made it look like an asthma attack”.

Silent treatment

My girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment today. I just wish I knew what I did to upset her……..

………so I can do it again when she starts to talk.

Alone

I’ll probably be alone for the rest of my life, unless someone special comes along……..

………and fucks that up.