To improve my sex life I took some viagra and a bit of cannabis…..
………and just ended up with stiff joints.
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Author: RoughBandit
I will go into survival mode if tickled.
Bald, often unreliable, easily distracte........
☎️ 📱 📞
The amount of time my phone spends plugged in…….
………you may as well call it a landline.
🥂2019🥂 💋
Being a kind and considerate person and knowing there would be lots of kissing on new years eve I decided to shave off the moustache…….
………. unfortunately she woke up when I sprayed the shaving foam on her face.
Christmas 🎄 decorations
I’ve taken down all the decorations, thrown the tree in the garden, finished all the Christmas food and drunk all the booze……
……I better leave this house quickly before the owners get home.
Leaving 😞
After careful consideration, I am officially leaving WordPress. I spend way too much time on here. Take care everyone……
……I’ll be back in 10 minutes.
Ebook Launch 🚀
Proud to say I have published my first book. Available now on Amazon. I couldn’t have done it without all of your support. Here’s to many more! 🍻
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07L19RST2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_flEaCbJAPVEFP
Shopping 🛒
When you’ve seen one shopping center……..
………..you’ve seen a mall.
Carpenter wanted
Any carpenters looking for work? Cabinet falling apart. Might be a few screws loose……..
……..Address: 10 Downing Street.
Lottery Win!!
I can’t believe I have a winning lottery ticket. Please respect our families privacy at this time as we decide how to move forward in this exciting moment of time……
……I will be collecting the £3.60 shortly.
Bus 🚌
Two old ladies talking at the Cafe..”Did you come on the bus Lucinda?”………
…….”Yes I did, Ethel, but I made it look like an asthma attack”.
