Jokes

Normal?

Is it normal for one of your tits to be bigger than the other……….

……..two?

Asking for my ex girlfriend

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Jokes

Balding

My girlfriend left me because I’m going bald………..

…………I’m not bothered, it’s hair loss

Jokes

Parachute

My ex-girlfriend is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow. I am sincerely and genuinely scared that the chute won’t open……….

…….the last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.

Jokes

Thrown Out

Got thrown out the chemist today. All I asked the lady behind the counter was, ‘do you take it up the arse love or do you swallow?’ She went mental…….

…….fuck knows how I am supposed to take these medications.

Jokes

Waddle Walk

You know when you are having a shit and you suddenly realise you have run out of toilet paper, so you have to get up and do the ‘waddle walk’ to get a new role……………….

………….well I’m nearly at the supermarket.