It’s so cold outside……
…..I saw a gangster with his pants pulled up.
Pirate goes to the Doctors
A pirate goes to the doctors,
“Thar be strange moles on me back”
Doctor says “they’re benign”……..
……..Pirate: “Check again matey, I think thar be ten”…
Crossword
If you see someone doing a crossword, just lean over and say……..
…….“7 up is Lemonade”
Scary Maths
I had a scary joke about maths……
…….but I’m 2² to say it.
Exchange Numbers
Her: ”Let’s exchange numbers”…….
………Me: ”Won’t that confuse people who are trying to call us?”
semi-colon
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?…….
……….He was given two consecutive sentences.
Virgin
Issac Newton died a virgin…. which means I have got one up on history’s greatest scientific genius…….
……I’m not dead yet.
Relationship Status Update
Relationship status…….
………Sleeping in my bed diagonally.
🥩 Steak 🥩
Make no mis-steak, my steak puns are rare…..
……but they’re definitely well done.
Scientist 🥼 Discovery
Scientists have discovered exactly how much sleep an average person needs……
…….Just 5 minutes more.
